


In The Dark

by Avenger_Hawk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Darkfic, Delirium, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gang Rape, Insanity, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Non-Consensual Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Trauma, mentions of Itasasu, mobxsasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8468473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avenger_Hawk/pseuds/Avenger_Hawk
Summary: Sasuke’s return to Konoha isn’t as he imagined. No one wants to change things, no one wants to help him. No one cares when he’s put in jail, blindfolded and abused. No one notices the things he sees in the dark. Only Kakashi, but he’s haunted by his own demons and the only help he knows is neither justice nor freedom. (Darkfic. dark Kakasasu. mentions of Itasasu/Kakaobi. negative portrayal of canon events)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This very very long oneshot is not graphic or explicit but there are various triggering contents such as physical and mental violence, rape, insanity, emotional manipulation and brainwashing. Also incest-esque vibes, even though I think that Itachi and Sasuke's bond goes beyond definitions and especially in this fic it's very spiritual. Also malexmale action, most of which is non-consensual or just..I don't want to spoil too much but there is kakasasu and kakaobi.
> 
> If you find what I mentioned above triggering or disturbing or whatever, don't read this fic.  
> When I started reading fanfics authors were more willing to explore darker territories, now everyone is apparently into healthy stuff. To each their own thing. I think that exploring "the dark side" can be a deep, revealing experience, for many reasons.  
> Those who read my other stories know that I hated the ending and I used my writing to explain myself why it happened, through various levels of understanding, more or less creative, more or less in-universe, more or less angry. This is another attempt to explain how Sasuke's resolve crumbled and he became enslaved to Konoha, and it's a prequel to my Itasasu fic What He Wanted (the new version), and to my dark Narusasu fic Of Feathers and Fangs. The latter's first 2 chapters are more or less a prequel to WHW but they diverge, instead.
> 
> I shouldn't even say it because it's obvious but Ibiki and Kakashi's thoughts and feelings towards Konoha and Sasuke are definitely not my thoughts.
> 
> The pronouns I used for the references to falconry are on purpose. English is not my native language so if this sounds obvious I'm sorry, to me it's not.
> 
> Also I'm really proud to announce that an amazing artist on tumblr, eeliiii, found this fic and WHW inspiring for her amazing Avenger Itachi AU, which I found inspiring and validating in return. In specific, the fanarts I'm talking about here are "the birth of Avenger Itachi" and "good night, sweet dreams, nii-san". So go check her tumblr!

 

 

 

> " _Into the darkness,_
> 
> _farther, my heart slips." (Tiger Army, Annabel Lee)_

 

Things never went as Sasuke wanted.

After the war it's no different, although everything seems fine at first, Team 7 finally at peace with each other, the war ended and the village that Itachi protected, even as a dead man, safe.

Nevertheless he is arrested when he's still in the hospital.

Surely it can't be that serious, Naruto debates from the next bed, just a pointlessly intimidating interrogation led by those old shinobi who never change their ways, and Sasuke believes his optimistic words because his friend said that since he can feel his pain he doesn't want him to suffer anymore.

Besides, he's on heavy painkillers, he can't think straight. Kyuubi-inflicted wounds are incredibly painful, its chakra is like a poison that melted away his skin and bones leaving only a stub. The next thing he knows is that his other arm is shackled by the wrist to a long chain, just like his ankles, his chakra is sealed away and he is blindfolded.

Kakashi is there, Sasuke feels his hand on his shoulder and his gruff voice explaining that Konoha's distrust is understandable, that even though the boy was crucial to seal Kaguya and release the Infinite Tsukuyomi, he's still an international criminal who attacked the Kage at their meeting, and an Akatsuki affiliate who killed Danzo and attempted to kidnap the Eight Tails' vessel, not to mention what he did after the goddess was defeated.

_Even though Naruto downplayed their fight, their missing arms are enough for everyone else to forget Sasuke's contribution in the war and see him not only as the traitor who left the village and joined Orochimaru then Akatsuki, but also as the one who almost killed their hero._

They question him over and over, about Madara, Obito, the Akatsuki, Orochimaru and Kabuto, putting every detail of his life under a microscope.

_Except for one: no one asks him about Itachi._

He cooperates but they aren't satisfied, as his answers aren't accurate enough but are way too honest at the same time.

They don't like how he points out that he fought against an unjust system; they don't like how familiarly he mentions Naruto and his promise to help him change the way things are.

_They interrogate him about Taka; they want to know their real motives, for no sane person would support someone like him._

_As they insist to know their secrets, Sasuke realizes how little he knows about them, only vague notions of their pasts and a few things they like or hate. He was never attentive to those details anyway, he knew what mattered the most, their strengths, their loyalty, their unwavering support._

_He wonders where they are now. He wonders if they are free or if they have been sealed and locked in a cell. He wonders if Juugo is alright without him keeping him calm. He wonders if Suigetsu is still afraid of Orochimaru. He wonders if Orochimaru is with them or if he found a different wind to be moved by. He wonders if Karin was told that she is an Uzumaki just like Naruto. He wonders if Naruto is out of the hospital, and if he is, why he hasn't visited him. He wonders where Sakura and Kakashi are. He wonders why no one comes to see him after all the times they repeated that they're happy now that Team 7 is together again._

They don't want just answers. They want repentance. They want surrender. They want submission.

That's why they reduce his painkillers.

Pain is the most effective way to control a prisoner, and even though shinobi are trained to endure it, everyone has a limit beyond which they break.

_Sasuke knows pain, from enemies, friends, his beloved brother._

_He endures well when they first reduce the dosage and prolong the interval between them._

_He even manages to behave properly when he's questioned over and over because his answers are not what they want to hear._

_When they cut all medications off though, the pain is unbearable._

_He would scream his lungs out but he doesn't, even though he is tired of proving his strength and he doesn't have someone to be strong for. He just doesn't want them to win, so he tries to control himself but it's impossible when he's suffering so much that it's like reliving the blow that destroyed his arm, every time, only without the adrenaline that kept him alive back then, and there is nothing else he can focus on, instead._

_Not when they ask and interrupt and talk to keep his mind chained to that place, like his body already is._

_They say that Naruto is in pain too and it's his fault, for he maimed him._

_They say that Team 7 has to mend the pieces of everything he broke along the way._

_You deserve to be alone, they say. You deserve to be abandoned like your traitor brother did already, they say, gloating as he shakes and grits his teeth in withdrawal._

Sasuke doesn't mind being insulted; he is used to it, since he announced that he would become Hokage, in the battlefield. 

_Taka used to support him no matter what he said. He should have known that everyone else was different, but even though he was strong enough to fight a war, he was vulnerable, alone as he was after the renewed loss of his most precious person. Announcing his new goal meant reclaiming justice for Itachi._

_He didn't care about himself at all. He was ready to erase his own self and embody his ideal of how a Hokage should be, ruling from the shadows, keeping everyone together under the same flag and feeling. A common enemy, not afraid to be alone, misunderstood and hated for eternity._

_Like Itachi, only forever, since he had the power to become immortal._

_He would have wanted to be with his brother more than anything, to use Rinnegan and call him back or stop struggling and join him in death, but he had to make his brother proud, he had to become selfless like his brother and make his dream of peace come true._

Yet when they mention Itachi it's different. How dare they? His brother is perfect. Don't they know the truth? Why do they still ignore it? So he tells them what really happened.

They don't say a word; he just hears them leave the cell until their leader, Ibiki, comes in.

He's not alone, Sasuke hears Kakashi's gruff voice.

_The first time Kakashi saw Sasuke blindfolded, a memory from his earliest genin days resurfaced. They were coming back from a mission when Rin mentioned something she had seen a few days before. As she was waiting for the chronically late Obito by the Uchiha training grounds, she had spotted a man with a hawk perched on his arm. She knew that many clan members practiced falconry but she had never seen one, and she was puzzled because the bird was heavily blindfolded by a sort of helmet._

_Why is that? She asked. Isn't it harmful?_

_Obito replied that it falconers used a so-called hood on their birds it for many reasons: to calm them and protect them from overstimulation, making them believe it was nighttime. To reduce the impetuous behavior of the not completely trained ones, so that they wouldn't bite their hands. To prevent them from attack other quarries, as the falconer had to point the prey to the falcon and not the opposite._

_At least so he was told, Obito added, blushing at Rin's praise of his knowledge, to which he replied recounting everything he ever heard on the subject._

_It's just like falconry, the Sixth Hokage tells himself: the falconer must calm Sasuke down, reduce his impetuous behaviour and make sure he is properly trained...if only this young hawk hadn't become an international criminal that no one trusted anymore and everyone wanted to see punished._

_He doesn't like to see him like that instead: maybe it's because that hawk was his student._

_Maybe it's because that hawk is tied to his memories of Obito._

His former sensei sits beside him and puts a hand on his cheek. He shakes his head, for Sasuke has a fever.

_Maybe it's the arm, maybe the withdrawal._

He calmly explains that the truth about the Uchiha massacre cannot be disclosed, that it's not the right time, because the countries are still recovering from the war.

"There is no right or wrong time to tell the truth!"

Sasuke objects, raising a frenzied voice.

Kakashi is unfazed. The decision has been taken, he adds; once the countries will recovered from their losses, Naruto will be Hokage and he will decide whether to reveal the truth or not.

_Surely he will, don't worry, Kakashi says with a lighter tone, the same he used to cheer him up after a long tiring day when he felt like he wasn't making any progress in learning chidori, yet his words only worry Sasuke more, because that isn't what Naruto promised._

In the meantime Sasuke should recover too, body and mind, focusing on the future, not the past, just like Naruto, who despite _everything_ is now studying to become a jounin, the required rank to become Hokage. If he behaves, the silver-haired man continues, they can find a solution for him too.

_Why is Naruto studying instead of spreading the truth? Sasuke asks himself. He can't help but feel betrayed; he can't help but feel angry at himself, because he told Naruto about his plan, believing someone who didn't even listen, who only pointed out how lonely he was, who repeated over and over what a bad idea his was and how badly he would have suffered for eternity, and for a while, in that mock of the underworld where their consciousnesses ended up after the fight as their bodies were bleeding out, he felt so tired and hopeless that his battle for justice seemed less important than what Naruto was saying, and his offer to help seemed better than his own plan, and something that Itachi would have approved._

There's a silence, then Sasuke lets out a cold laugh.

"Fuck recovering!"

_He knows he shouldn't say so, he knows that he's making their jobs easier as it's exactly what they expect from him, but he can't ignore that._

_Is it because he's almost lucid or because of the opposite?_

"Fuck chuunin exams. I'm stronger than all of you."

Kakashi gestures Ibiki to let that slide.

"Even you, sharingan-less Kakashi..."

The boy hisses, threateningly closer to the silver haired shinobi, breathing the same air as him for a moment -the elder stays still but stops breathing at the unexpected closeness- until Ibiki slaps him in the face and he topples on the ground.

"Don't you dare disrespect the Hokage, you scum!"

He's picked up by his former sensei's arms, before the Sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi's voice resonates in the cell.

"Sasuke. Listen to me. You threw your life away for revenge, destroying the bonds with those who loved you. You wasted Naruto's time and energy, you made Sakura suffer more than you can imagine, you made _your teachers_ feel like failures."

He's certainly not talking about Iruka.

"You were bestowed the most precious gift from your brother. You were given life, a safe place, comrades. Everything he couldn't have. But you let his sacrifice go to waste."

That is a low blow. So much that Sasuke is left speechless.

"Now, Sasuke, it's time to atone for your sins and repay everyone for their dedication. If you love your brother as much as you claim, you should acknowledge that he didn't want the truth to be revealed, and respect his will."

_Why does it seem that everyone knows about Itachi but no one is willing to disclose the truth?_

_Why does it seem that everyone knows Itachi and his ideals better than him?_

_Why didn't he get to spend more time with Itachi when he met him in his Edo Tensei form?_

_Why didn't they go somewhere else and leave others fight their war?_

_Why did Itachi have to be in such a rush to stop Kabuto instead of staying with him?_

_Why didn't he stop Itachi from releasing the jutsu? Why did he let him go?_

_Why did he call the past Kage back instead of Itachi?_

_Why did he join the battlefield and help those ungrateful bastards? Why did he tell Naruto his plan?_

_Why didn't he use Rinnegan to revive Itachi and leave with him?_

_Why didn't he let Naruto kill him so that he could be with Itachi in the afterlife?_

The first thing he's aware of, when he comes to his senses, is his nails digging into his skull and the impossibility to loosen his grip, as tense as he is, so much that when he does, his hands are clasping chunks of hair.

Kakashi and Ibiki left when he started shaking and mouthing intelligible questions, the Hokage inquiring about why they don't give him more painkillers, the interrogator calmly explaining that they need him lucid or he won't understand their questions.

There is no one around him, again, only questions, only anger, only pain.

* * *

 

Sasuke can't say how long it's been since the last time Ibiki came.

_He vaguely remembers a stronger pain, and a female -Shizune, they call her- healing the arm infection. He remembers other questions, his honest answers, and a wave of anger rushing through him as he mutters Naruto's name, gripping her wrist before she leaves, a desperate request to know what's happening outside, a request that stays unanswered, like his need for justice, like the naive trust he put in his friend._

"You heard what the Hokage said, didn't you? After all the crimes you committed you shouldn't add new ones to your record. This means that you're not allowed to disclose classified information. If you'll disobey you'll be punished. Understood?"

He pronounces every word slowly and clearly, as if he were an idiot.

_As if the hell his brother suffered meant nothing._

"You don't trust your subordinates to keep the secret or you're too stupid to remember that you assholes are already punishing me?"

Sasuke taunts him.

"You are the stupid one, Uchiha, you don't realize how many ways we have to punish you," the interrogator rebukes, "like keeping you here months. Or years. Maybe forever. It's a long time to spend on your own..."

"Maybe I won't be alone…"

Sasuke snarks.

"Maybe you'll end up in the next cell, with all the bastards who support your lies!"

He doesn't even flinch when the man's fist makes contact with his mouth. He just spits the blood and twists his split lip into a lopsided grin.

"I saved your weak asses during the war, do you think that I am afraid of you? That cutting meds off will make me obey you? If only, it makes me stay lucid! Just you wait, I won't let you cover up the truth again! I won't let you ignore my brother! My brother is innocent...my brother is a hero! My brother..."

He doesn't finish the sentence; a steel-hard punch in the gut leaves him breathless, gasping for air.

"Lucid, Uchiha? I only see a delirious brat blabbering nonsense here..."

Ibiki mutters.

* * *

 

It becomes a recurring event, for Sasuke to no longer care about the consequences of his words - _the truth about his brother is more important than anything, even himself. Besides his former mentor made his position clear, and his best friend disappeared with his promise. He can only count on his own voice to spread the truth_ \- and for the interrogator to silence him the hard way.

_It's not a mystery that Ibiki enjoys being rough on his prisoners, and this one is not an exception._

_In fact he's quite the opposite. Maybe because he would have liked his brother under his special custody, but now that it turns out that the Anbu prodigy wasn't a traitor he forcibly shifted his target to this traitor who deserves to be disciplined. Maybe because the younger Uchiha is so lithe when he yanks him up by the chains and so helpless every_ _time he takes his massive punches, and it's exhilarating for the man to think that if he hit just a little bit stronger he could even kill him._

Ibiki is not the only one whose frustration needs release; most of his subordinates lost someone during the war and with Obito dead and Kabuto missing, there is no one else to rage against.

_Even though Sasuke helped them all._

_Even though Sasuke saved them all._

_Even though Sasuke spared them all._

The Sixth Hokage visits the prison rarely, being busy on diplomatic missions and meetings.

_This isn't the first bad experience the boy goes through, Kakashi tells himself, trying not to think about what his two wars experience taught him._

Many times Sasuke's world changed around him, crumbling and rebuilding itself on the ruins of his battered heart, new truths learned tearing certainties down every time.

_Only one remained, hidden first, then brought to light and magnified._

_Only him._

The world Sasuke lives in now is pitch black and silent, neither hot nor cold, neither dry nor damp. It's a bleak nothingness interrupted by some motionless objects -metal cell bars, stone walls, a wooden bed, a wool blanket. Food pills and a jug of water- and a few moving ones.

Sasuke identifies part of them by their steps: Ibiki's are heavy and steady, his deputy's are slower, with a slight limp.

It's hard to tell them apart by their voices, their mask muffles them all but one with a characteristic lisp.

To identify the others he relies on their hands.

_And the way they use them._

One yanks him forward by the chain; it's hard to keep his balance on a single arm but that's what he wants, to see the last Uchiha on the ground, coughing and bleeding under his feet.

One likes to choke him with the loose chain that would restraint his arm, if he had it.

One never comes alone; he and his comrade encourage each other as one holds him still from behind and the other beats him to his heart's content.

There is another one but his hands are different. He gropes and squeezes and his mouth is too close and there is one time that he pushes him down on his knees and forces his mouth open and tells him to _suck._ Sasuke bites _it_ so hard he draws blood, then he starts shaking for the adrenaline and the smell of blood and his craving for something to ease the pain from the beatings and his wound, while his brain is running haywire and his black silence with scant objects becomes noisy and too bright and he wants _everything_ to shut up, especially that man who shrieks and yells him to die as he throws him something cold and hard and pointed; Sasuke would gladly die and finally join Itachi, but the noise won't stop and his body acts on its own against the screaming man, against the other abusers, against those who put him in jail, against those who ordered the massacre, against those who betrayed him, Sasuke doesn't know anymore, his only arm just keeps hitting that person over and over and when the man pushes him away he doesn't stop and instead of stopping he puts his chain around the Anbu's neck and squeezes.

* * *

 

What happened is obvious; squad and superiors find different ways to deal with it.

Ibiki orders that Sasuke is put in a straightjacket and that no one enters his cell without backup.

The rest of the team estimates that putting the boy out of the straightjacket and chaining him up require at least three men and agree to back each other up to make him pay for killing their comrade.

_They make sure that he won't bite this time; they do it as a group, one pushing him down on his knees, one holding him from behind, one watching their backs while waiting his turn._

_Pretty ones like him always get that sort of treatment in prison, after all._

Nevertheless, Sasuke's world returns pitch black and silent.

He retreats in the recesses of his mind, where the pain in the arm is just a static noise and it's harder to keep track of what happens on the other side of his blindfold, where their hands become all the same, their beatings -and _everything else_ \- don't reach him anymore.

_Their voices don't reach him anymore either but their words find a way to creep up to him._

Sasuke doesn't care about telling them apart; he only cares about Itachi.

Because his brother is there, he can feel him.

_It's not the first time he feels his presence. When he charged his last chidori against Naruto Itachi's scent was lingering behind his back, his warm hand was supporting his own._

_Maybe he didn't lose his arm he lost in that fight. Maybe it's gone with Itachi._

_Maybe he is the lost one._

He can hear his brother's voice.

Sometimes it's very clear: images of their childhood and their fleeting encounter flash before him, shared moments that the elder asks him to reminisce, as if they were having a peaceful conversation, as if the wooden bed were the wooden pavement of their house, where they used to sit and talk watching the seasons change colors in their garden.

Sometimes his hearing doesn't work so well and he asks himself if Itachi is really there with him, if he can't understand what he's whispering because he's not good enough, or if he's a delusional lunatic as his jailers used to say.

Sometimes he wonders why Itachi's words seem to overlap Naruto's. Poor Sasuke, you're alone, so alone and so wrong, your idea of Hokage is not mine, it's so sad, just like you, little brother, you are lonely, you need friends and guidance, you need Konoha and Konoha is there for you.

Naruto claimed that Itachi was on his side. Sasuke saw his memories, he even felt jealous of the blond who met to his brother in his Edo Tensei form before he did, who was able to see and talk to him in broad daylight, not in a cave, at night.

_Maybe his destiny is to never be with his older brother under the sun, as now that he's in an even darker cave his beloved one is with him again._

Sometimes he doesn't understand why despite having told him that he would always love him no matter what his choices would be, Itachi's words sound different now -yet familiar at the same time. I want the Uchiha name to remain intact, don't let the truth be known, enough Naruto, enough Sasuke, just stop, don't say no more, I sacrificed everything for you, foolish little brother, but you let it go to waste, if you love me as much as you claim you should respect my will.

Wasn't it Kakashi who told him so? He's not sure. He's not sure of anything. Memories, dreams, reality, past, future, present, it's all blurred and jumbled together.

He's not even sure if he's alive or dead, if he's in a dark prison in Konoha or in some obscure afterlife limbo, with his brother. But the latter can't be true because Itachi is a hero who avoided a world war and protected the village and his little useless brother, who instead caused his death, who didn't follow the path he painfully traced for him, who hurt his old and new comrades, who didn't obtain justice, who failed at everything.

_Whom everyone abandoned by now. Except for one._

_Only Itachi, who's there for him now. Who wants him to stay here and pay for his crimes._

He deserves to be imprisoned, he tells himself, or he's told by Itachi _-he can't always tell where he ends and his brother begins-_ during those bad days where Sasuke's ear is brushed by the elder's cold, distressing whispers, just like that day at the inn. You sought the darkness, you said that you long since closed your eyes...well here you are, darkness is all around you, and so is pain and loneliness, you should have been careful of what you wished for, foolish little brother.

_Those bad days his words seem to overlap with his jailers'. Don't you dare talk, don't you dare say anything, no one cares anyway, just like no one cares about your brother. You have to pay for him as well, you traitor scum, they say after they free him of the straightjacket and beat him up. You deserve it, you deserve this, little bitch, you like this don't you, they say as they do unmentionable things to him._

* * *

 

In the dark of his cell, eyes sealed shut, further sunk in the recesses of his mind, completely detached from what happens outside his blindfold, Sasuke sees him.

Itachi is no longer just a voice, he is right there, in front of him, smiling like he used to do when they were children and he desperately tried to keep up with his big brother.

He's ashamed at first, because despite his efforts he never made it, because even if he worked hard and never stopped fighting, nothing he did went as he wanted, he didn't become Hokage, he didn't obtain justice, he wasn't even able to clear the elder's name.

Itachi keeps smiling though. Being the best is not that great anyway, he says, no matter what you'll do from now on I will always love you, and for the boy it's enough to make up for _everything_ that happened to him so far and _everything_ that will keep happening to him.

He deserves to be punished anyway, especially from the one who sacrificed everything for him.

Thus when Ibiki comes for his habitual interrogations Sasuke doesn't see his large frame but his father's, silently examining his grades and telling him to keep studying and become like his brother, and when the interrogator raises his voice as if it were enough to call him back, Sasuke sees Obito, hiding behind a mask, urging him to listen to the truth because he didn't understand a single thing about his brother, and when the exasperated man throws him to the ground Sasuke feels Itachi's kicks and punches and shivers at the cold unfeeling eyes looking down on him.

_And after Ibiki leaves Itachi begs for forgiveness for each and every blow he landed on him and Sasuke replies that it's alright, that he knows why he acted that way. He leans in his brother's palm as he strokes his gaunt cheeks, he rests against the elder's chest as they lie down on the wooden bed, he slightly parts his lips and holds his breath when the other's brush his face and rest on his forehead._

Outside the blindfold there are noises and voices and lights.

The Sixth Hokage calls his name over and over while Ibiki explains that he became uncooperative and violent before ending up _like this_.

Later, Kakashi Hatake sneaks unannounced and unaccompanied into the prison, where he sees that defiling Sasuke has become a habit.

It's not hard for the Hokage to obtain a detailed confession; once they're locked away, Kakashi brings soap and warm water to wash their dirty hands away from the boy's bruised and battered body, trying to remember if he was always so thin and sickly pale.

_Trained hawks should be kept hungry or they won't respond to the falconer's commands._

_Kakashi recalls the times he trained Team 7, when his pupil was definitely too thin. He can't remember much of when he saw him after he killed Danzo, as it was more important to protect Sakura than to know if the dark circles under the boy's eyes were because of the exertion for the previous fight, or because of the sleepless nights thinking about his brother's painful truth, planning out his revenge against Konoha. Even when he joined the battlefield Kakashi had a war to fight and the only thing he cared about was understanding if the newly arrived ally could be trusted, trying not to be swayed by his arrogant stance towards him._

Inside the blindfold, Sasuke is being surrounded, almost defeated, until the warm red brightness of Itachi's Susanoo encircles him. Why are you fighting alone little brother, he says, why do you always get in trouble, anyway now that I'm here I'll help you out, he tells him, and when the enemies are pushed away he eases Sasuke down to clean his wounds, bandage him up and praise him because he fought well and Sasuke doesn't feel any pain anymore because his big brother came to save him, his big brother is proud of him, his big brother helped him defeat the symbols of an unfair system: the woman Mizukage, the old man Tsuchikage, the giant Raikage, the Kazekage Gaara and the Hokage Kakashi.

* * *

 

As a veteran of many wars and an expert in his job Ibiki is untouchable, so Kakashi replaces his deputy with Yamato and makes the interrogator understand that if he _fails_ to see and punish any further inappropriate behavior towards the prisoner, the Torture and Interrogation Force will need a new commanding officer. Elite shinobi never take a break from _their duties_ , he casually mentions, but as Hokage he must make sure that his best men don't _work too hard_.

His message is even clearer when he summons the new Yamanaka leader, Inoichi's brother, whose impeccable state of service and mastery of mind control would make him the perfect replacement for Ibiki's position.

After examining Sasuke the mind reader declares that there's no way to predict when he will return, but he can be brought back using both his clan's techniques and Nara clan's special natural medicines.

In the meantime, his new prison guards are personally chosen by the Sixth Hokage while the previous ones are stripped of their rank and confined to the border.

_Kakashi can only make sure that they won't approach the boy again but he can't keep them in jail because if what they did became public the only victim would be Sasuke, again._

_Besides, even though no one would blame him, he let that happen._

_Beginner falconers should never let others tend to their birds because they might harm them._

Kakashi comes often. Sometimes he briefly checks on him. Sometimes he spends hours in there while his personal Anbu bodyguard, Sai, makes sure that no one disturbs him.

He frees Sasuke of the straightjacket; he scrubs him clean and cuts his hair; he stretches his muscles and massages his tense body.

_Without realizing he cuts Sasuke's hair a little shorter than the usual, a little more like Obito._

_In the dark, so thin and broken, the young Uchiha reminds Kakashi of him; not the redeemed tardive hero who saved him once again during the war, not the rival that he pretended to ignore only to irritate him, but the scared injured boy who was thrown into the darkness, death and violence weighing him down._

He brings real food and makes sure he eats it, feeding him as if he were a child.

_Feeding the hawk is important in order to gain his trust._

Inside the blindfold Sasuke is a child and Itachi cooks for him and feeds him slowly, patiently, never losing his smile, and the boy smiles back, content and safe.

Outside the blindfold Kakashi mistakes Sasuke's smile for recognition. It only lasts until the boy mutters his brother's name.

He should have known: Obito too had always Rin in mind.

Kakashi has a lot of things to tell Obito. Most of them can only be voiced by hands, not words, and he reminds himself that the Hokage must embody the law, not be above it.

Sometimes it works.

_When it doesn't work it's not because Kakashi wants payback or enjoys abusing his prisoner; it's because he can't contain his frustration for not being able to reach out to Sasuke, even more for not having been able to reach out to Obito. Why did you end that way, why did you believe what you were told, why did you unleash Kyuubi, that caused our sensei's and his wife's death, forcing Naruto to grow up alone, why did you help Itachi execute an order that was a consequence of what you had done with the Nine Tails, why did you control Akatsuki, why did you tell Sasuke the truth, why did you start a war where too many of my -of our- comrades died, why didn't you come back, why didn't you come back to me, he whispers and yells with broken voice and split knuckles, shaking the shackled boy's lithe form, tracing the bruises that he just left on him, cupping his face_ _, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips before exploring his mouth slowly, hungrily, keeping him pressed between the cold wall and his muscled frame._

_Sometimes he imagines to arrive in Madara's hideout to save a sickly pale and bony Obito, he holds him tight and stays like that until his arms hurt, telling him that it's over, that he's going to get him out but when he's about to free him he sees the different facial shape and remembers that it's not Obito but Sasuke, and he feels ashamed because of what he just did, but then he realizes that Sasuke can't see his face and doesn't hear his cries or feel his hands, and he figures out that Sasuke sees another face and hears another voice and feels another's hands_ _, and lips,_ _so it's an equal exchange, because both dream their most important person, he tells himself to wipe his conscience clean._

Out of the cell Kakashi is his usual impassive self; he has always been good at compartmentalize, keeping desperation and anger in the dark of a secluded cell, wearing a honorable mask in the sunlight, where Naruto, the heart of the village, is basking in popularity and he, its head, is fixing what doesn't work.

Like Sasuke.

_Like Obito._

It's his Hokage duty to punish him, as Sasuke is not just the rebel who threatened Konoha, but also the only survivor of the only clan who dared defy that very village, but as his former sensei his duty is to care for him.

And he does care for the boy, he always did. He just disagrees with his need for a justice that won't be of any help.

He remembers the pain he felt as a child, when he lost his dad. Only seeing himself as a part of a bigger family _-only seeing everyone as cogs in a big machine, no matter how talented or special-_ numbed that pain. To him following the rules so that everything would work smoothly wasn't a restriction but a relief.

He recognized the same pain in Sasuke but no matter how hard he tried to help him, he continued hurting himself until he left.

_Sometimes birds harm themselves, pluck their feathers out and trying to break free of their cage._

Even though Kakashi's acquired sharingan made him famous as the Copy Ninja his biggest strength has always been another, so when Obito's gift disappeared he relied again on his strategic ability.

He knew what he had to do since he saw all three of them, Sakura stopping the bleeding from both boys' arms, Naruto looking at his best friend and Sasuke smiling after so much pain. The silver haired shinobi knew that it moment wouldn't last, that Sasuke's tranquillity wouldn't last.

With Rinnegan on top of his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Sasuke is too strong and too unstable to handle all that power; the only way to keep him under control is weakening his already shaking mental balance.

How ironic that Kakashi's plan was inspired by Naruto: he always considered him unfit to become Hokage, until he saw the way the blond manipulated the enemies, tearing their ideas down but showing them a glimpse of hope, enough to make them sacrifice their lives as a redeeming act.

He did the same to Sasuke.

He didn't object his ideas as equals would, he indirectly belittled them by ignoring them, only focusing on striking Sasuke's only opening, the loneliness and despair he never stopped feeling after the loss of his family.

Losing Itachi again pushed him towards Konoha but his following idea of violently changing the system and ruling from the shadows, was a clear indication of how troubled his soul was, and how much trouble he would cause in the future, refusing to put the community before himself.

_The only way Kakashi knows to numb the pain is to cling to the rules._

_The only thing Kakashi could think of was that he wouldn't let the hawk hurt himself anymore._

Naruto sowed the seed of self-doubt promising help and friendship while destroying his plans.

It was brilliant. Even moreso because despite being a natural manipulator he had no idea of being one, thus it was easy for Kakashi to manipulate him in return.

The boy bragged about his ninja way but as alone and in desperate need of acknowledgment as he was, he easily trusted his comrades' advice, especially if his sensei, the Sixth Hokage, suggested that in order to become the Seventh it was better to not visit Sasuke in jail, to not support his cause, to keep the secret about Itachi.

_Naruto once said that he could be one and he could be many. He meant something else but it was true: he was one around Sasuke and he was many around everyone else._

Kakashi knew exactly how things would unfold when Sasuke was put in jail. He knew that Ibiki got off on power, that his team was not different and that their abuse would escalate to the point that Sasuke would react, despite the withdrawal induced numbness and the hallucinations.

He hated to let them defile his precious student over and over but it was part of the plan.

He told himself that it was for Sasuke's own good. That he was only doing what Itachi had done before. That every moment the boy spent in that cell, isolated, blindfolded, in pain, that every abuse, every degrading act, every insult had a purpose: to prevent him from ending like Obito, whom Kakashi couldn't help.

_Punishing him is loving him._

_Breaking him is helping him._

He had to wait for the boy to sink in the deepest hole before lifting him up.

_Animals always follow their rescuer. Falcons are no different._

_Even Obito was no different after Madara saved him, he once bitterly realized._

_But he's not like Madara._

_He's just protecting the village from an unpredictable danger._

_He's just protecting his precious student from himself._

_He's just protecting the young hawk that flew away and injured himself._

What Kakashi didn't foresee was that Sasuke would create another reality in his mind, keeping him away from everything around him, including his rescue.

There was a positive side to this setback though, for the man had demons too and the darkness of Sasuke's cell was perfect to meet them - _to meet him._

Until the Yamanaka technique and Nara medicine started working.

* * *

 

It's painful, even for the mind reader, to force Sasuke out of the world he created only for him and Itachi. He resists, kicking out the intruder from inside the blindfold, thrashing and screaming outside it. He wants to stay with his beloved one, he doesn't want to return to the dark cell with the many voices insulting him and the many hands hurting him, but he can't resist forever, and when he's back, after the panicked screams are over, the first things he says is Itachi's name.

_When the boy asks for his brother, Kakashi knows it's time to proceed with the training._

_It's common to acclimate a hawk to a new environment by taking advantage of its state of shock after being trapped, Obito said, and Rin grimaced because it sounded like violence._

Itachi is dead long since, don't you remember? You killed him, Sasuke, after all he did for you. You made your comrades suffer too, you've been seeing things for a while, loneliness made you insane, poor boy, but don't worry, I'll get you out of here, I'll make them pardon you.

_Obito replied that it sounded violent but in reality the combination of the falconer holding the hawk and letting everything wash over him was important to acclimate a bird very fast to his new life._

Kakashi notices the silent tears flowing under the blindfold and tells Sasuke that it's good to have him back. As if he didn't know that he's not really back, as if he didn't know that he'll never be really back, as if he didn't think that it's better this way, as if he didn't work for this to happen, as if he didn't intend to continue training him through guilt, pointing out each and every mistake he made, and positive reinforcement every time he made progress, removing the straightjacket, then the shackles, then the blindfold.

_It's easy to break his soul in even smaller shards and scoop them away._

_It's even easier to justify the act and reassure himself that with time Sasuke will be able to live almost normally, just like he does._

_He'll never heal completely but how could someone whose family and clan were destroyed by his brother to prevent a rebellion could?_

_Do others heal anyway?_

_Naruto never healed from growing up alone, shunned and hated by everyone, or he would have stood up for his friend even if it meant losing popularity._

_He never healed from his father's suicide and the loss of his comrades, or he wouldn't have used his former student as a screen to project the image of the rival and friend who died before they could become something more._

_No one heals. Healing is not required. Being loyal to the village is._

* * *

 

For Sasuke being outside feels like waking up from a nightmare. Everything is beautiful and safe and bright, the birds chirping, the trees, the sun over his pale face.

In his confused memory, reality and hallucinations are mixed together, but it doesn't matter, he just wants to forget so he leaves the village as fast as he can.

It's Kakashi's indirect suggestion, a journey of redemption to atone for his sins; it's the last part of his training. His final exam.

_Even the strongest hawk won't catch anything unless it is loosed._

The long isolation in prison and the constant manipulation convinced him that despite his friends and comrades are ready to welcome him back, he must prove himself worthy of them, especially of Naruto, who did so much for him.

Sasuke doesn't mention his promise or the truth about Itachi and he is sincerely happy to see, after such a long time, the one he considers his best friend, and at the same time he's surprised that the blond bestowed his precious time to someone flawed like him, and Kakashi understands that he made it. Sasuke will pass the will return to be a loyal Konoha shinobi.

_A cog in a machine, no matter how talented or special._

Even after remembering jumbled disturbing _things_.

Even after waking up with the feeling of invisible foreign hands over him.

_No matter how many times he'll scrub himself clean he'll never scrub the bad feeling away._

Even after asking himself if Kakashi saved him or did _something else_ , because he can't tell the difference.

Even after stopping on his tracks while wandering in the woods, hearing whispers, feeling someone watching over him. Or watching him. He's not sure.

He'll never stop hearing Itachi's voice - _Kakashi never stopped hearing voices either-_ but he'll learn to keep it for himself and go on with his life.

Kakashi often thinks that both times Obito saved him were both a gift and a curse, for death is comforting when one has nothing to live for, only duty and an empty ideal that doesn't shield him from the demons that haunt him when he just wants to rest, forever.

He knows that for Sasuke it will be the same. It already is. He honors it as it's a gift from his brother, yet it's also a curse, because he has been turned into an empty shell who lives off duty, whose only desire is to join his beloved one, no matter if in heaven or hell.

_Or a dark prison. Or his own mind._

He knows that deep down inside Sasuke will never stop hating Konoha, for what he did to Itachi and the clan, but he'll defend it anyway, forever conditioned by guilt and self-hate.

He'll think that protecting the place he hates is a fitting punishment for his mistakes.

_Not only the ones they pointed out; he'll see more with time, like believing Naruto's words._

He'll smile bitterly at the irony, of his wish to become like Itachi come true, for his brother was used by Konoha and so was he. And still is.

He's Konoha's property now. He's Naruto's property. Or Kakashi's.

He's not sure; they all look the same in the dark.

 

 

 

> _I'm public enemy #1_  
>  _I'm sorry for the things that I've done_  
>  _If indeed we do cross path, it's nothing personal_
> 
> _And I'm already gone, I've left a trail of devastation,_  
>  _I've got the Machine Gun Blues (SOCIAL DISTORTION, Machine Gun Blues)_

**Author's Note:**

> Recently readers are more easily irritated, maybe because there are less fics, now that many left the fandom after the manga ended. Some of my fics aren't exactly recommended if one craves for romance, but they're also not general because there are "pairings", or it would be better to say interactions that may become sexual, one way or another. They're also entitled, thinking that they know best so let me explain this: "Loving the character" and "wanting the best for them" mean a lot of things, from only wanting to see them in a nice cute context, to wanting to explore every side of their personality, even darker ones, even putting them in a dark scenario where they suffer, because that brings out sides of them that canon doesn't show, or explains things that happened in canon or is just a scenario that I want to see because I love the character. You don't spend time creating a story if you don't love the character. no matter its genre.  
> fanfiction is a mix of realism, creativity and self-indulgence: the author tries to accurately describe the characters, putting them in a different scenario, all the while indulging in their choice of "fanservice".  
> The ending destroyed the characters. Kakashi became a benchwarmer. Sakura returned 6 yo. Naruto became a workaholic politician who doesn't keep his promises and doesn't care about the one he defined a brother. Sasuke became an apathetic, broken, lonely Konoha slave for whom every occasion to escape is better than staying (which is logical). Despite it being bad writing I can't overlook it, and my writing reflects my need to give it a meaning, even if sad and bitter.  
> Episode 479, with Sasuke in jail and Naruto being popular, is not a new trope in fanfics, but in the anime I would have expected Naruto to comfort him, Team 7 to visit him, instead he stayed there alone for who knows how long, only freed to be guilt tripped by Kakashi.  
> I started writing a different Kakasasu darkfic months ago but I postponed it to write other things. Ep479 rekindled my anti-ending anger and the need to write something KakaSasu-ish, the first pairing I liked in Naruto and I read more than one "Sasuke in jail" fic with them.  
> Kakashi is a dark character, he hides it under his impassive/lazy attitude but he never healed from his past and never will. Like Sasuke, but unlike Sasuke he's hypocritical about it. In this fic I highlighted his trauma, his relationship with Obito, the way he numbed the pain for his father's suicide through erasing his individuality and following the rules.  
> He's not evil, and he's not good. He thinks he's doing the best for the village, manipulating Sasuke (and Naruto). He thinks he's doing the best for Sasuke, breaking his rebellious personality, because he felt better when he followed the rules. And on top of this he is also trying to save Obito through Sasuke, and this is where his inner darkness mostly comes out as insanity, using Sasuke as a screen to project his frustration.  
> In ch699 (and ep479) Naruto is colder and less interested than Sasuke in their friendship. My explanation is that Naruto has suffered loneliness so much that he is addicted to human contact and friendship. He craves to be accepted and loved and would do anything for it. And he is overwhelmed by popularity, he says he won't forget his friends but he pushes them aside easily, he did it to Sasuke as well, and I think it's because of his childhood. That suffering doesn't go away without leaving scars.  
> Kakashi might have made the difference in the way Sasuke was treated in the end. He knew the truth, he met Obito again, and Minato too, so he should have come out of the war totally changed, his views on everything challenged and matured, instead he stayed the same, or rather he shut down from everyone. It's a sort of retraumatization instead of healing. He got attached to the old rules instead of evolving for the best.  
> Konoha's treatment of Sasuke in my fic is not that unrealistic, since they are inherently oppressive and violent. I also added mentions of emotional manipulation because I think that Naruto did that to Sasuke during the final fight. And Kakashi continued after.  
> Itachi wouldn't want to see Sasuke in jail and mistreated. In this fic Sasuke is hallucinating for the manipulations and withdrawal and the insanity he is experiencing, so he sees Itachi. He replaces his abusers with Itachi as well so he both sees a sweet caring brother and an abusive brother who punishes him, because he is mentally ill at that moment and he only cares about Itachi.  
> "Punishing him is loving him. Breaking him is helping him" is vaguely ispired by "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength" (G. Orwell, 1984).  
> I also referred to the non-massacre filler arc. And I ended with a long flash foward in the future referring to A Tale Of Two Cities by C.Dickens, whose character Sydney Carlton is an amazing tragic hero.


End file.
